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ED IVF attempt didn't work...

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#1 Janie4



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Posted 05 August 2008 - 08:15 AM

Hi everyone,

Just to let you know that we did ED ivf again, flying over to London from Sydney to do it and had to wait till we got back to Australia before doing the pregnancy test as the programme was delayed slightly.

Anyway, I came back and it has failed... I'm so depressed. I feel home sick anyway, it was so nice to be back home and Sydney's was so cold and gloomy when we got back and the flat seemed to take days to warm up and it has just been so miserable.  

We didn't really have a Plan B... It was always in the back of my mind that we needed a Plan B but I couldn't think one up! I wanted to go to the same clinic as before as we had success there and I wanted our family to all be from the same country at least, if they couldn't be from the same donor. So now we're back in Australia and I need to be in England to try again. The only saving grace is that my clinic's waiting list has rapidly reduced to 1-3 months (instead of 6 mths). She said they may even have a donor available for me in 4 weeks. But I'm expecting longer.

It's so tough this IVF. I don't think I was relaxed enough. I was always slightly concerned that it wouldn't work as the donor had had a miscarriage before but on the plus side she was only 21!! Anyway, she had 19 eggs, so she got 10, we got 9. Then only 2 out of our 9 fertilised!! That was a real low point. Then the 2 were graded a high grade so we had them both transfered on day 2. Anyway, then it failed. My donor had 9 out of her 10 eggs fertilise and managed to get to blastocyst stage (day 5 transfer) which makes the chances of success so much higher. Then she got a positive test. They said my husbands sperm was fine so the whole thing is just unexplainable. I was successful first time with ED ivf before, so I guess this is my shock to stop me feeling too complacent.

But now we're planning on flying half way round the world again to have another try. It's such a complete nightmare. They don't do egg sharing in Australia and we'd have to find a donor ourselves (by advertising) if we did it here and that could take ages. And we'd know the donor and they might want to be part of the child's life more than I'm comfortable with etc etc.. The whole thing is just more complicated for me - I just want to go to the same clinic again - but it's half way round the world and it's just adds another stress. It's such a nightmare. I don't know what we'll do if it doesn't work again.

Thanks for listening,

Janie x
Periods became much less at 29
Diagnosed POF at 31 (May 2004)
Accupuncture and Herbs for 10 months
(it improved my periods for a while, but ultimately didn't work)
Tried IUI in May 2005 - didn't work
Egg Donation in August 2005
Beautiful Baby Boy, Harry, born 17/03/06

#2 Vicky


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Posted 05 August 2008 - 12:08 PM

Hey Janie,

I just wanted to say that I was sorry that you didn't get a positive.  Doing IVF is hard and I completely understand wanting to go to the same magical place where you got your first miracle.  

I used accupuncture to help deal with the stress of IVF and it was useful for me to have an outlet, is there anything which helps you to keep calm and relax?

Love and Hugs to you, remember the more times you flip a coin the more chance you have of getting a "heads".

* Two gorgeous boys, one amazing girl.
   1st one DE (2nd attempt in Spain) and 2nd and 3rd spontaneous ovultion!
* Two lovely furbabies and one amazing DH!!
* Dx Christmas '03

#3 ronnie32


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Posted 05 August 2008 - 01:25 PM

Hi Janie

I'm so sorry.  IVF & DE is never easy and with the added pressures of being homesick and commuting from Aussie to London ... my goodness, it's so hard!

Assuming you do come back to the UK for your next attempt, are you able to build in time before and time after just to chill out in London (or wherever?), so that you can get over the stress of the flight and relax after the treatment before jumping on another plane?

You're probably doing all that you can in that regard already - I just wish I could make it easier!

Thinking of you,

Diagnosed with POF just before turning 32.  Have used acupuncture and TCM.  I am taking various supplements including multi vitamin, calcium, zinc, flaxseed oil etc.  Following osteopenia diagnosis, started HRT on 10 March 05 - reluctantly.  I have a fab g/f & we have a lovely dog (lurcher) & a mischievous cat (tabby).  We have one son who keeps us on our toes.

#4 scout


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Posted 05 August 2008 - 04:20 PM

Hi Janie,

I'm so sorry to read that your DE/IVF transfer didn't work this time.  All that travel involved doesn't make it any easier, either.  Please don't be down on yourself about feeling stessed during your transfer.  I can't imagine *not* feeling stressed during a time like that.

I hope you're feeling a little better today & a little less homesick.

Take care of yourself.

Symptoms @ age 34 when I went off BCPs.
Married Jan 2007.  Dx EM/POF in April 2007 while TTC.
DE/IVF July 1/08 - now Mom to 2 yr old.

#5 vickila


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Posted 05 August 2008 - 06:46 PM


(((HUGS)))  It sounds like you've really been through the wringer on this one.  DE is usually not easy, at least not in my expericience, but I can't imagine adding the stress of having to commute halfway around the world to the puzzle.  

It is good news though that the wait has gone down so much at your clinic.  I wish we had a clinic that would find donors for us (and lots of other things).  

Have you thought of trying yoga or meditation for relaxation?  They help me.

Good luck, and hope you're feeling better.
DX EM/POF Jan 2005 at age 34, after years of irregular and missing periods.  On BC to give me a cycle between FETs.
together with DH 13 years, married 6.
pursuing DE to complete our family - first transfer 3/24/06 BFN
FET May 30 BFN
FET July 6 BFN
FET Sept 19 - positive, then a week later negative
FET Jan 16 2007 BFN
ready to go for the last pair of frosties, BUT lining isn't being cooperative - maybe in 2008
starting the adoption process too, if our dreams come true we'll have two babies in two different ways!

#6 Nellie



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Posted 05 August 2008 - 11:56 PM

Hi Janie,

What a hard time. I'm sorry to hear how much you've been through only not to have it work this time. This ED/IVF line that we walk-- wanting it enough to jump through all the hoops, but having to stay detached enough to survive if it doesn't. It's very difficult and I feel for you.

Keep in touch -- we've all been there -- Nellie
Age 37, POF'd age 19, Dx age 24
Married 13 years!
1 dog, a good man, & 3 little boys (DE)
1.5mg Estrace, 400mg progesterone cyclically, 1mg natural testosterone, Synthroid

#7 Sara K

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Posted 07 August 2008 - 07:06 PM

Hi Janie

So sorry to hear your news.  I agree with the others, I can't imagine having the huge extra levels of stress of travelling so far on top of everything else.  It must also be hard hearing about how things have gone with your donor too, when your news has not been as positive.

I hope that you get some more info soon about another attempt, and that the next time it all works out as you hope.

In the meantime, big hugs to you.

Age 38
Hypothyroid - Auto-immune
Family history of POF
HRT - Femoston

#8 Margareta


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Posted 25 August 2008 - 06:33 PM

Hi Janie,
I am so sorry to hear it didn't work this time, I think I can figure out how you must be feeling right now.
Next time would it be possible for you to stay a little longer in London so as to reduce the stress somehow (if that is at all possible during ED..)

I hope you are ready for a new try again if you decide that is the way to go.
I am soon gearing up for sibling attempt number 4, I am not giving up yet, but also do not know what to do if it fails yet again.

Thinking of you. M